Decameron Aquarium – A Floating Dream with a Few Leaks: San Andrés Island, Colombia

San Andrés Island doesn’t do subtle. It crashes into your senses with turquoise water, Caribbean heat, and reggae-beat chaos. So it makes sense that Decameron Aquarium—the island’s flagship all-inclusive—doesn’t try to be understated either. It looks like a Bond villain’s lair built out of Legos, sprawling across the bay on stilted overwater platforms that belong at an oil refinery...And that’s honestly its biggest charm.

The Feel

I’ve never been on a cruise—just not my thing. But this resort? It’s exactly how I imagine a cruise might feel. There’s a wall-sized activity schedule that looks like it was swiped from the Promenade Deck on the Loveboat. Stage entertainment every night, volleyball games that no one really joins, and organized “fun” that mostly exists on paper. I’m sure someone somewhere is doing aqua aerobics, but it’s easy to miss if you're not looking for it.

The grounds, though? Absolutely stunning. Everything’s manicured, the plants look like they’re auditioning for a Caribbean postcard, and walking around the property is a reminder that yes, you’re in paradise.

Customer Service

Now, as someone who lives in Colombia, I get it: there’s a relaxed approach to service here. “Urgent” is not a word most Colombians apply to much of anything. And honestly, that laid-back vibe can be part of the charm—until it crosses into flat-out negligence.

When we arrived, our room had no towels. None. I picked up the phone to call reception... and found the phone was dead. So I walked across the property to report the issue. They assured me towels were on the way. They weren’t. I followed up—twice. Eventually, someone brought us towels. Much later, a guy showed up to check the phone and confirmed it didn’t work. He said they’d handle it the next day—and then we never saw or heard anything else. The phone was still broken when we checked out.

The Rooms

Location Trumps Luxury Let’s be real: this isn’t the Four Seasons. The rooms are dated but functional. The buildings are a very strange kind of cylindrical tank structure.  I would be lying if I described them as anything other than ugly.  But the air conditioning worked, showers were hot, and the beds were suitably comfortable--reminiscent of your grandma’s spare room. But the view? Worth every penny.

We paid a bit extra (about $25 USD per night) for a waterfront room and got a full-length sliding glass door that opened onto a balcony hanging right over the sea. It honestly felt like being on a ship. Waking up to waves lapping under the room and pelicans diving nearby was surreal—in the best way.

Tip: Ask for a room in one of the towers farther from the main building. They’re quieter, and the views are unbeatable.

Food & Drink: Quantity Over Quality

Here’s where things get dicey. On our first afternoon, we were shuffled to an overflow building for lunch because the main dining room was full, where the only options were hot dogs and hamburgers. I wish I were exaggerating, but it was like prison food. “You paid for food, so here’s food.” That kind of energy.

Luckily, when we were able to eat in the main dining area, things improved dramatically. The buffet was surprisingly decent: well-presented, hot, and varied enough to find something you liked. Was it Golden Corral on Senior Discount Day? Kind of. But it was filling and the staff were lovely.

As for the drinks: they’re included, and they’re flowing. But don’t expect anything fancy. Cocktails come in plastic cups, made with sugary juice and a splash of generic rum or aguardiente. It’s not exactly mixology—it’s more like Solo Cup night at a Frat. Order a straight shot if you want to taste anything through the sugar.

The Setting

The Real Star of the Show This is where the place redeems itself. The entire resort is perched over the water. There are ladders everywhere that lead straight into the sea. Bring a mask—snorkeling off the dock reveals schools of fish, coral, and even stingrays if you're lucky.

The pool is small but pleasant, especially at night with string lights and music drifting over from downtown. The location is central but still peaceful—a rare combo.

Activities & Atmosphere: Lively If You Want It

Entertainment is offered nightly, and it’s about what you’d expect: local performers, cheesy lip-sync battles, and awkward but endearing contests. If that’s your thing, it’s there. If it’s not, no one will drag you in.

Wi-Fi is where things fall apart. They didn’t offer any upgrade option, and I was told Wi-Fi was only available in the reception area. No signal at the pool, in the rooms, or really anywhere else. Also, if your phone provider is Tigo, don’t expect coverage—Claro worked fine, but others were basically offline the entire time.

Final Verdict

This isn’t a world-class resort. It caters mainly to Colombian families looking for a quick tropical escape, and if your expectations are set accordingly, you might enjoy it. But if you’re picturing a polished, international-standard resort experience, you’ll likely be disappointed.

That said, if what you’re after is some sunshine, sea breeze, and a room literally over the ocean, it could be the right choice. Just know what you're signing up for: comfort with caveats, great views with glitches, and paradise with paperwork.